When i see that i just walked to the store at 12:30 at night in the sleet with my feet getting wet, and the sleet beating against my face just to get a pack of ciggarettes, i loathe myself. To think that just a week and a half ago, i missed class, because i didnt wanna walk in the snow makes it worse. Why do i choose the things that tear me downinstead of build me up? I keep making all these promises to my self. I will quit smoking. I will quit self injuring. I will be more spiritual. I will make it to class everyday. I will study better for school. But they are all lies. I hate my self for that. I hate myself for the lies i tell myself, and that i go out of my way to do the things that are harmful to me, but give up so easily on good things. I wish i could just recreate me, a good me. I start out on all these good paths, but mess it all up. Im so good at doing bad, and im sick of it.