I am a toy soldier… I do not show anything but happiness to everyone in my life, but thats almost never true. I will never show them my fear, my lonleyness, or my depression…I will never let them see me cry or get scared about anything.i will only show them what they want to see… A happy little girl that is not afraid of anything , and can take the world on by her self. A girl that will never feel pain, and is strong enough to hold you while both being in mourning and still not cry about that death. They see me as the girl that will do anything to help someone she doesnt even know, because in someway i can understand them when no one else can. But this is not who i am… I am the girl that blambs herself anytime something goes wrong. I am the girl that cries herself to sleep at night, because of the unbarable pain that i go through everyday. So yes i am a toy soldier. I am an emtional little girl, but to you I am your toy soldier…
I couldn’t say it any better… I’m the same, wearing an iron mask every day, smiling trying to light up someone’s day even if I can’t lighten my own. I have to act like this storng, confedent 17 year old, when really, I’m falling apart inside.
But if we tell someone..hey won’t understand..they never do!! we all were masks, painted on with permanent paint. hiding our pain and just keep smiling when we actually feel like crying. If you want, read my poem that I wrote and posted. It’s about acting like you’re happy, but inside you’re screaming. If you ever need to talk, email me at
littlecrazyemily@gmail.com