its one in the morning…im away from home at school. i want more than anything to talk to someone right now. the thing is i really have no one to talk to…

those around me, my best friends family (who have become mine) and my boyfriend and my sisters and brothers-in-law all say i can talk to them. and i know i can. and i know that they truly want me too…and thats the reason i cant talk to them. i want to talk to someone who wont worry. the thing is that anyone and everyone who i would talk to would worry. ive been told that those close to me would rather have me there everyday and be stressed than me go alone and injure.

i know that they would be okay with that. i know thats what they want, but its me that cant handle them being stressed knowing that im the cause of it all. they keep leaving me hints that i need to talk to them when i feel like injurying. what they dont understand is that i feel like injurying 24/7. nothing makes it go away. not completely, there are times, like when im hanging out with my friends and family, when its hidden in the back of my mind, but its always there…always.

so i have no one to talk to…especially at one in the morning…