It feels like there is a giant black hole in the pit of my stomach eating me alive. I am so angry today. I wish the people in my life would just be honest and responsible for once. The pain and hatred that is swirling around in my head is driving me crazy!! I want to SI soooooooooooooo much right now. I’m trying to remember that hurting myself won’t fix the problem. The person who should be hurting is not me . . .so why do I want to take it out on myself??? It would be nice if we could wave a magic wand and force the offending party to change into a better human. It really is awful that the only choice seems to be to walk away instead. Why do I feel sorry for a pathetic loser that seems to enjoy making me miserable. Actually, it’s worse than that . . .he doesn’t even care enough to do that. I am trapped in a vacuum of grief – a black hole.