It feels like there is a giant black hole in the pit of my stomach eating me alive.  I am so angry today.  I wish the people in my life would just be honest and responsible for once.  The pain and hatred that is swirling around in my head is driving me crazy!!  I want to SI soooooooooooooo much right now.  I’m trying to remember that hurting myself won’t fix the problem.  The person who should be hurting is not me . . .so why do I want to take it out on myself???  It would be nice if we could wave a magic wand and force the offending party to change into a better human.  It really is awful that the only choice seems to be to walk away instead.  Why do I feel sorry for a pathetic loser that seems to enjoy making me miserable.  Actually, it’s worse than that . . .he doesn’t even care enough to do that.  I am trapped in a vacuum of grief – a black hole.