I haven’t been on here in a very very long time. In that time a lot has happened. I quit the swim team I had been on for four years. I started siing more and more.  I miss tons of school. my grades dropped. And eventually on Dec. 3, 2009 i wanted to end it.  I went to the hospital and it was the worst night of my life. I didn’t want to die. Then I went to live with my dad for the first time in my life. It was hard. Sometimes I hated it. But I stopped injuring. I haven’t injured since Feb. 13, 2010. I still want to though. I still do smaller things whenever I’m upset. I left my dads house and I’m home now. But i hate it here. I feel like the past is repeating itself and I’m going down the same path as before with no way to get off. I find it impossible to trust anyone which leaves me feeling incredibly alone. I made it through the darkness so how did I wind up back here again?