I’m here right now feeling like I’m the only person who exist in my world. I feel as if everything is upside down inside out and nothing make sense anymore. Is this feeling I have my own making and is it a punishment because I deserve it. Nights are too long and well the days just go by so quickly. All I want to do is SI cause I can’t feel anything else. I don’t want to act like a baby right now, but I do feel like I have no one and that if I do want someone around I have to do something for them to get in return. I start my first class next month in college and if I don’t pass the follow-up test well it would mean I’m a definite failure and everyone could have a good laugh. I told my shrink Friday, but I don’t know if I should tell my therapist when I see her today. So what if they say I could do it, what do they know, they’re not going to be there helping like they said they would. No one will be there so I’m left to my own devises. So do I do whatever will get me through the night and forget about therapy period I don’t know anymore these feelings are not going away. I can’t stop thinking of how alone I feel as if I were on an island somewhere in the middle of the ocean or that I’m drowning fast and no one is there.