I hate triggers. But I test myself to see if I can go on with out doing it. I just watched a trigegring video, I can barley even talk right now, and I odn’t think I will all day which is hard bcuz I have a councling appt. today. I heard as someone else said the other day ..the “C” word, like 2000 times the other day, on TV. First on Live with Regis and Kelly, then on Rachel Ray, and A cooking show.  And It was crazyy I had to go in my room blast music, and try to stay to myself, and hide evrything, I promised my friend I would stop, and Idk… I know God is with me, and he wont give up, but I just sometimes want to give up.  I hate triggers, its just ughh! But I can handle it.

At one point Ill be able to handle it