Since my frieshman year of highschool I’ve had my own battle with SI. At first it was maybe a few scars every so often when I’d have a bad day. But now, it’s my Junior year and everything just keeps getting worse. More bad days, too much alone time, and having no idea how to handle it.  And any time I try to tell my parents about it, I rethink it and decide not too. My father told me a long time ago that if he ever found out I was doing anything of the sort, I was out. That he wouldn’t talk to me anymore, and I can’t handle that.

My parents would be so disappointed in me, and I know that.. The problem is I don’t know how to quit? I know like anything it takes time and commitment. But, Ive tried and I’ve fallen short time and time again. It’s the only thing that is under my control, but then again it’s not. It’s something in my life that only goes away if I have the will to make it.

That might not make sense, but my mind is a full mess of jumbled words that can’t even describe what I want to say. I know that it’s a problem. But how do you quit something that you thought you could control?

I’m 16.. I shouldn’t be like this..