Since my frieshman year of highschool I’ve had my own battle with SI. At first it was maybe a few scars every so often when I’d have a bad day. But now, it’s my Junior year and everything just keeps getting worse. More bad days, too much alone time, and having no idea how to handle it. And any time I try to tell my parents about it, I rethink it and decide not too. My father told me a long time ago that if he ever found out I was doing anything of the sort, I was out. That he wouldn’t talk to me anymore, and I can’t handle that.
My parents would be so disappointed in me, and I know that.. The problem is I don’t know how to quit? I know like anything it takes time and commitment. But, Ive tried and I’ve fallen short time and time again. It’s the only thing that is under my control, but then again it’s not. It’s something in my life that only goes away if I have the will to make it.
That might not make sense, but my mind is a full mess of jumbled words that can’t even describe what I want to say. I know that it’s a problem. But how do you quit something that you thought you could control?
I’m 16.. I shouldn’t be like this..
I know how you feel I am 15 and I have been SI since I was 10. I know how it is to quit. I will admit that I am not clean havent been for a while. But I know the pain you are feeling. What I am about to say might make sense and it might not. But your feelings control your thoughts and your thoughts control your feelings. It didnt make sense to me at first, my counsler in the mental hospital told me that. I didnt understand at first but once I really thought about it, it made sense. Look at it this way your thoughts are that you want to quit but you cant, so your feeling that way and its making you want to SI even more. But if you changed your thought to I want to quit its will ne hard but I can do it. Then your feelings will do the same and the erge will become smaller and smaller. You have to stay positive to get a positive outcome. And just because you handle things differently then most 16 year olds doesnt mean there is something wrong you. I learned that yes i injure but other then that I am just like everyone else. Just think about it and it will make sense.
thoe of us here who do SI shouldnt be like this but we all are and for some of us we dont see a reason to change
I’m 16 too, and I’ve SI’d for many years. My mom recently found out about my SI’ing, and although she was disappointed and angry, she didn’t do any of the things she said she was going to if she ever heard of me doing these things. I’ve been clean for a month, and it’s been hard, but completely worth it. You need to start by reaching out to someone else. You can’t do this on your own. If you don’t trust your parents, find a friend you can trust. I resisted getting help for so long because I felt like I should be able to control it, and I shouldn’t need help. I was afraid my friends would leave me and no one would understand. Plus I was ashamed. But you simply can’t do it on your own, no matter how much you want it.