Hi . . . This is my first time posting. I’m 39 and only recently started to SI after several months battling a deep depression. (Still trying different meds for depression per my doc). I’m confused and scared because I’ve never acted on the desire to SI before now. I work in ministry and am so ashamed . . .my clients have no idea. I can’t imagine what they would think. My older children are afraid and I had to lie to my younger children why “mommy has scars”. My husband does not understand and either makes sarcastic remarks or shuts me out alltogether. My therapist is very understanding and is trying to help me use healthy methods to cope, but I feel so alone. I just want the angst to go away. I just want to feel “normal”.  I am supposed to be the caregiver, not the other way around.