why must bad things happen to people that most certainly don’t deserve it?  every day i walk around feeling alone and helpless.  all i wish is for happiness but every time i try it, something keeps me. like life is getting in my face and screaming “why should you be happy?! you don’t deserve it”  i feel as though i cant love or be loved and that’s the worst of all. it just hurts so much and i get the feeling that it will never change.  why me? why must i have to goes through this depression? why must i be the one that wakes up everyday feeling ugly and worthless?  i just want someone to see me for what i really am and accept me for it.  i want to be loved by others even though i have these scars all over my body.  and yet i walk around everyday hiding it.  i do not get close to people in fear that if they know about me and my depression/SI that they will just judge me and write me off as either a crazy or a girl in dyer need of attention.  i am neither though.  all i am is a sad girl that wants nothing more than to be loved.  i used to believe in miracles and that there was a higher power up above that will make everything alright in the end.  now i believe in nothing.  i feel as though there is no point of it in the first place.  ive lost all hope and i just want something to prove to me that things can get better and that SI isn’t the only thing that would make me feel better about what i call my life.  if only…………..