i used to have fits a lot. thats when I would SI when i had fits. they used to be hysterical screaming and crying and they were exausting. but now they dont play fair. they are silent fits and they attack any time. the smallest thing or nothing at all can set them off. then i…cant describe without triggers. its just bad and i hate it. my friend Sonya ( thats not her name but whatever) she used to SI only because all my friends do. she stopped. she got out early. i wish i had too.
Theree’s still time to get out. You aren’t as far in as you could be. If your friends are encouraging you to SI then you need more than just them. No you don’t have to stop being friends with them completely. You just need to add friends who wont encourage you to SI in your life too.
I have no words of wisdom but I will keep you in my prayers. I understand about the exhausting fits . . .when I feel like my family is mocking my emotional pain I just sorta flip out and SI and then I feel so scared that I want to hide. I obsess about SIing sometimes and so I try to journal until the feelings pass. Sometimes I go on a speed walk to redirect my fury . . .sometimes it helps. I hope your friends wouldn’t encourage you to hurt yourself . . .that’s not true friendship.
allow me to clarify: my friends DO NOT pressure anyone to injure. In fact, they try to steer them away from it. They were furious at Sonya for SIing because she had no reason. However, we do make some exceptions that we dont talk about. My friend Samantha (again not her name but whatev) has had a horrible life. she has stopped SIing but when she relapses we hold her while she cries and thats it. no rebuke. we NEVER pressure anyone to injure. EVER. just so ya know.