I’m struggling in life right now. Everytime i start to feel better something little upsets me all over again. I SI, and i struggle with it daily. I recently told my mom and I have never seen her hurt so bad. SHe almost looked disappointed in me. Then she asked me what she did. I tried to explain to her that it wasn’t her fault. But, she doesn’t see it that way. She sees it as she messed up somewhere as a parent. I’m trying to explain to her that it has nothing to do wit hher it’s my own personal problems. BUt sh e cried forever asking if there was something she could do to fix it. I asked her if I could get a therapist. My mom wants me to go on all kinds of meds. I don’t know if I can deal with it anymore. Telling her was supposed to make things better. But all she does is ask about it constantly. She’s always asking what i injure myself with, when I did it, and always asking if i need to talk. I feel horrible for regretting telling her. BUt I told her so i could get help from an outside source.
telling someone was smart. And tell her you would rather not talk about it if you need to. May i ask how old you are? It doesn’t make much i diffrence to the sittuation. Just keep reassuring her itt wasn’t her fault. and be happy she cares so much
I am so sorry you are struggling so much with self injury right now. Then you were brave enough to tell someone you trust, your mom, and it seems that isn’t working out very well either. Honestly, at my age of 35 and struggling on and off with self injury for the last 13 years or so, my parents TO THIS DAY still ask me what they did to “screw me up.” “Nothing,” I say. “I’m not screwed up.”
Anyways, it’s my experience with my parents that #1 – parents worry about their kids, especially about something they so profoundly can’t understand liek self injury and being parents, they want to help or “fix” the problem. This is probably why your mom wants you to take medicine. She may not realize that medicine won’t keep you from hurting yourself. You might find it helpful to know that it can elevate your mood and help with your thinking process to get you to a point where you can deal with the urges.
Then in my parents’ cases and it sounds like your mom’s case #2 – they can’t separate themselves personally from me, my problems, what I did and what they perceive as what they did to make me do the things I do. To me, this is different from them wanting to take responsibility for things they said or did during my childhood that may have affected me. To me, this is their “stuff,” shameful for them and shameful for me as well.
I wish you peace in your mind and in your relationship with your mom. You must love her and trust her to share such information with her. I suggest you tell her exactly what you wrote in this blog – that you told her things because you needed help finding help from somebody else. I also wish you healing. Healing and recovery is possible. Don’t lose hope! You are strong and you are worth it!
thank you guys so much. I actually am going to start going to a therapist because my mom wouldn’t stop asking about it. I am 18. I might show this to my mom. thanks so much for advice it helped a lot 🙂