Hello, I normally turn to this site when I’m really struggling but I’m starting to get some real recovery under my belt. (I remember writing here a couple years ago that whole idea of recovery didn’t even make sense to me: I get it now.)

My 12 year old is really struggling: falling grades, skipped school, stealing money, cursing me out…. He needs help and I need help with him. I managed to get him to his first therapy intake today but he tried walking off on me two times and cursed me out half the way there. At first, just afterward, he was in a suddenly pleasant mood but soon after cursing at me again and saying he’d never go back. I would have killed for therapy when I was his age but suspect I might have fought it and generally given my parents a hard time for it nonetheless.

It occurred to me that there are so many teens here. Anyone have feedback to offer? I’ve told him that it’s not his fault, that the problems are in the family, not him– tried make it light by saying it’s just because he has such difficult (recently separated) parents…. He must go but I’m newly in this terrain (teen years) where I’m really not sure how to make him do what I want. I’ve thought of tying his allowance into attending therapy but I’m not sure how I feel about that yet. Something I can’t identify makes me hesitate.