I am not a victim of abuse of any kind by my parents, but I am slightly emotionally neglected. I am hearing impaired and I am the only one in my immediate family who is hearing impaired. It’s harder than hard. It’s emotionally exhausting and I am in constant battle with my step father because of it.
Today, my family and I were watching a movie, I couldn’t hear what they were saying in the movie, so I put captions on, he got all mad. Whining about how he can’t watch a movie with captions on and he actually left the room and isolated himself in his bedroom. Imagine how that made me feel? My mom yelled at him before he left:: How do you think she feels when she can’t understand what they’re saying?!
I felt like dying. I felt like crying. I felt like screaming.
I felt like screaming at my step father for being so freaking insensitive and not even taking notice at how lousy I felt for making him leave because of my hearing impairment. If I wasn’t hearing impaired, he wouldn’t be such a jerk. How am I supposed to change?! Huh?! There’s nothing I can do about it, David!
If my real daddy was alive, he would understand why I would need captions on. Why? Because he was hearing impaired too. He would watch everything in captions, we would watch everything in captions together and no one would complain. But that can’t happen, it never will. I miss my daddy, I wish he never died. I’ve felt so alone for thirteen years in this family. I have nothing in common with the family I live with now, besides the fact that we love each other and that we live together. My daddy died thirteen years ago in a car accident and ever since, I have never related to anyone to my hearing impairment. I feel so alone. It’s so hard. I’m choking back tears just writing this. Ohmigod. I wish I could talk to my daddy.