my depression started in 7th grade. the girl who was supposedly my “bestfriend” turned everyone against me. i lost everyone. then i spent the whole entire summer lying in my basement. i didnt even have the energy to get up; i would sleep there most nights. i was completely numb. thats when i started SI. as i moved on, 8th grade started. i decided to be brave. i told my most trusted friends about my SI and the three attempts. no one knew untill then. as it turns out, of the top of my head i know over 10 people in my friend group that had done SI. my mom got suspicious and took me to the doctor so she could look for scars.. thankfully she couldnt see the injuries from the night before.. my bestfriend, who acctually just informed me today about her SI, told the school guidance counselor on me. but i lied to the GC about SI so my mother never found out. when i started counseling, i hated it. i still do. she makes me feel stupid for my mistakes. but i finally started getting better. then one day, my school took a field trip to the pool. me and my other bestfriend were both depressed that day. later that night i had a fight with one of my friends, the only one who talked to me during 7th grade. we were at a party, and i ended up running away from it to cry. we tried to talk it out but she was still mad at me. i injured the next day. i was completely numb all weekend. i couldnt move again. then it was the last day of middle school. i was going out with one of my friends. she never saw. i made up with my friend who i had the fight with and everything was going good. i started working at a camp & met tons of new people! but only on the second week, i met two girls who hated me. they told everyone i was an idiot, ugly, a flirt, and plenty more. that night i injured. i had to cover up everyday for the next few weeks, the hottest weeks of the year. everyone could see. i was back to being addicted. now im coming out of that presuure, the sudden cravings to SI. but i still slip up every once in a while. i have to be carfull if i do though, considering my mother is insane and checks me for scars. i get no privacyanymore incase i SI. i hate her. i hate my family. but i have to get passed this if i ever want a chance at normal life again.