I’m not really sure what exactly to say. I’ve been self injuring since I was 12 years old, on and off. I know its hard to believe that a twelve-year-old can be depressed but I’ve always felt like the outcast where ever I go.
Depression also runs in my family, pretty much everyone and now me. My family never seems to understand me, no one does for that matter, at least not completely.
I’ve been hurt by a lot of ‘friends’ girls and guys, and I think once I tell them my problems or get too detailed with it they pull away, it probably scares them. But it scares me too.
A lot of people think I’m a wild, very worldly person. But I actually do try to talk to God, but its hard because sometimes I think he doesn’t listen. I feel like I have hardly any stability in my life. However, the friends I have in my life now have been supportive of me, they tell me to stop hurting myself. But I’m afraid to be too attached to a person because I know, eventually, they will hurt me.
I don’t want to just stop for people, I want to stop for myself. It has just been really hard lately, I’ve had so many overwhelming thoughts. It scares me.
I used to not care so much of what people think. I wish I could say I still don’t, but unfortunately, I do.
I don’t know how to stop, I feel trapped. I’m envious of the people I know that have stopped on their own, I wish I could.
When I SI I can focus on THAT pain instead of the pain inside. I deserve the pain, I’m so pathetic, I don’t think even God hears me. That or he doesn’t care, but that brings me back to feeling that I deserve all this. There are days when I feel so worthless. If anyone has some advice on how to stop, how to get over this. please help me. I don’t want to lie anymore, I want to be free.