I’ve been SIing ever since 5th grade. I’m in 8th now. Its my moods. I have an amazing family and amazing friends. I don’t why I do this though. Why I SI. Its just my mood. I feel really down and sad and I just want to sleep for a really long time. I guess it was because of my school. I’m failing and it makes me mad. I feel like I’m a failure. I’ve notice that I don’t feel pain very much probably because I SI. Last time I did was yesterday. I was feeling really sad and bleh. I mean sometimes I do what I do because my family or friends would really tick me off but I think I over exaggerate but every time I get mad I start crying and I won’t stop. I want to tell someone about it like one of my close friends so I can talk to them and they can help me but I’m scared that they could think of me as a bad person or someone who wants attention, and I don’t want to tell my parents because of the same thing. I’m scared of what they will think of me and how they would react. I don’t want them to think its their fault because its not. Its just how I feel and how I handle them. I want to stop what I’m doing but I don’t want to seek help from a therapist or have my parents know. But right now I’m just letting out on here hoping someone can hear.
I defintely hear you and I know how you feel. It’s so hard to ask for help because you don’t want to hurt the people you love or have people look at you differently. I felt the same way, but I knew I had to ask for help. This isn’t something you can overcome on your own. It was hard, but I’ve told my best friends and my boyfriend. Also I’m now seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist. I still get embarrassed and ashamed, but it helps so much to have someone to talk to, someone who cares. It also helps remind me that there are people who love me enoough to not judge. I hope you can find someone like that, please don’t try to fight this battle alone.