i still remember when i was in 4th grade and i was so depressed and now i think how can a 4th grader be depressed what does their life really entail??

now i just self injure……i dont know how to stop

i found my best friend though…3 years ago he stole my heart and when he saw the injuries he knew what he had in his hands and in stead of walking away he stayed…he helped…i talked…i can talk to him more than anything…more than i can say to my counselor who i stopped going to

through his help and support i stopped after 6 years, with some relapses, but i found my way back…

im 18 now and we go to different colleges and he is now curious in dating other girls…exploring…finding out if what we have is actually love…

after 3 years he wants to take a break…

i’ve suddenly realized i stopped injuring for him because i didnt want him to worry and be scared

without him…i dont have my person to talk to about anything in the world…the one person who can stop my tears…all i do is cry and cry and i need to stop i have to so no one will question and i will have to make up some excuse…the only way i know how is what he helped me stop…

and now injuring comes back just as easily as it came into my life…

and now i have to start the process all over again

but how can i when i dont have the support of the one person i actually need…