I am not dealing well. I cant hold on anymore. I Cry myself to sleep practically  *EVERY DAY*!!!!!! I really want to SI, now and always,. I LOVE IT! But I hate it at the same time!!!! 🙁 I don’t know what to do anymore.. Im so done with trying anymore!!!!! Some one help please!!!!  No one is here for me anymore.MY my best friends that actually care live in Ohio and Virginia, I live in in Michigan, My friend Emarie from Virginia, I wont see her in forever and Lindsay and my other bests live in Ohio. I hate not seeing them… They actually care. They are all christians. They always tell me I can find forgiveness and love and help thru God. I tried and it seemed to help for a while, praying, and going to church again, but idkk now. I just I deserve to hurt,and nobody believes me, I DESERVE IT!!!! Trust me HE’ even told me, thats why he did it. BCUZZZ IT WAS MY FAULT!!!!!!!! I deserve everything bad that happens….. I DKKK what to do anymore please. help!!!!