What if I relapsed right now,
Who would care?
What if I relapsed right now,
Who would try to stop me?
What if I relapsed right now,
Would I be able to stop?
What if I relapsed right now,
Would I fall too hard?
What if I relapsed right now,
How would it feel?
What if I relapsed right now,
How would I handle it?
What if I relapsed right now,
What would happen?
What if I relapsed right now,
What would be the reason?
What if I relapsed right now,
Who would care?
What if I relapsed right now,
Who would try to stop me?

–it’s not really a poem, it’s just written in poetry form, because it makes more sense to me. This is pretty much every word and everything that is going through my mind. It has been this way all week and last week. I want to get away from these thoughts, but the only solution that comes to mind is relapsing. Maybe the thoughts will go away, maybe the nightmares will disappear, maybe the tears will try, maybe it would make everything better. I’m sorry if I’m offending anyone. I just don’t have any resolution or help or anything right now. I need help, but I’m too scared to ask. I can’t even ask for help from my best friend. I’m hopeless.