im only 15 years old. im in the 10th grade. ive been injuring myself for a little over 5 years. i wish i could stop. ive tried to stop. but the relief i get after i injure , its like addicting. it makes me so relaxed and i forget about everything else in the world except injuring. im scared, i feel like soon im going to go to far. i have lost all hope. no ones there for me anymore. my parents make fun of it. im depressed. nothing seems to help. when i get mad, its the first thing that comes to mind. i want help, i want to stop. i want all the scars to go away. every scar i have, and everytime i look at them, it just reminds me of my pain. ive tried just about everything. im lost.
For your parents to make fun of it is a terrible, terrible thing. Is there someone you could tell, a teacher or someone at church? Maybe they could talk to your parents and try to get you help.
I know you don’t know me, but I’m here for you and I’ll pray for you. You can email me anytime at shinsgirl@yahoo.com
ive tried talking about it with therapists, my teachers, but nothing seems to help. im losing hope.
I know exactly how you’re feeling. I went through that in eighth grade, I’m in eleventh grade now. I’m doing a little better, but it’s not that noticeable. Wanna know why it’s addicting, when you injure, your brain releases a chemical through your body, it’s a chemical that makes you happy. Not a lot of people understand that, nor even know that that actually is what is happening. A lot of people don’t even believe that it’s addicting. But it is, and it’s a drug. Everyone has the strength to get through it, I know you can do it. About the scars, every scar is a story, yes, it may be a bad/sad story, but each and every one of those scars tell a story. And they made you who you are, and you are beautiful. They show that you’re a strong person and they’re war wounds. When and if you decide to have kids, and one of them is going through a rough time and resort to a harmful solution, you can relate to them, leading it to be easier to help them get through it in a healthy way. That’s a way I look at it, I know it sounds stupid, but it’s helped me.
There is at least one person in this world that is going through the same things that you’re going through, you’re not alone. Hope does exist, and I believe that you can get through this.
You’re important to me and will always be.
Hope Does Exist,
Heather
p.s.
If you ever need anyone to talk to, I’m always here::
jeynann@yahoo.com
Don’t give up. The fact that you are here and making posts means you care and want help. That is something. You have value, even if you can’t see it now. I self injure too and I know exactly what you mean, it is so addicting and so freeing, but it is so destructive. I can’t really give you advice because I am stuck in the same place, but please keep fighting you are strong enough. Try and find happiness in the smallest of things, when you want to SI don’t. And if you do, stop yourself before it goes too far, be honest with yourself and try and figure out why you gave in. Learn from your mistakes…this has been helping me, I hope it helps you, keep fighting.