Soooo si-ing is what calms me down, what keeps me going when i want to totally lose it, I’ve done it less, so i feel somewhat accomplished but at the same time people still hate on me for doing it. I also got involved in other forms of injuring and have been for about a year now and involved in some other things that are really stupid but i feel good when i do these things.. i know theyre bad but if it makes me feel better i dont see why i should stop. i have to lead this retreat in a couple of weeks and they assigned me to this speech about knowing yourself…i asked the guy who’s leading it why he would give that to me because i totally dont know myself and he told me id do great. I feel like if i give this speech i will be a complete hypocrite but at the same time i guess ppl need to know that its ok to make mistakes sometimes as long as you can find your way back which im still working on…