This time of year is very hard for me, because the day that me and my love first met is coming up. He moved away from me and I miss him incredibly, he’s all I ever think about, I can’t concentrate. All I want is him to be back with me now. He’s coming back when he’s 18 for me, which is only two year, but it seems like two decades. I want to injure so bad because of this pain I feel. I always tell myself it will make things better, but it just makes them worse, which makes me want to injure more. People ask me all the time about my scars, and I always have to come up with some lame excuse, and I’m tired of it. I just want to stop the self pain, but he was the only reason I didn’t do it, and now he’s left me. I know that’s selfish to say, because it’s not his fault he had to leave…but it’s just how I feel. What I wouldn’t give to see his face…:[ Can anyone give me some good advice for what I should do in this situation?
I am going through the exact same thing, yet in a slightly different way. He’s my best friend and he was my reason I made it past 2008. He moved the year after, and I hardly ever see him anymore.
What I’m trying to say, is that you’re not alone, I know how you’re feeling, and I’m not just saying that. I think you should stay strong and find a crazy, healthy outlet, even if it sounds really stupid, it helps. Find a great alternative, like, draw a butterfly on yourself when you’re craving. It’s a symbol, a sign if you may, if you hurt yourself, you’re also hurting the butterfly that you drew on yourself. Who would want to hurt a butterfly? If you’re craving really bad, draw a caterpillar, then a butterfly.
That method, really helps me a lot. It’s kept me clean for a week now.
if you ever need someone to talk to::
jeynann@yahoo.com