My uncle has fallen into some legal troubles mainly with the police and it’s always something with him and I swear a five year old acts more mature than he does. In the meantime he’s pulling everyone else into his problems now I can’t go back to my hairstylist (who I love) because he called the cops on my uncle, my mom is constantly on the phone (drinking and smoking usually too) with somebody concerning him and the stupid things he’s done. I know that alcoholism is a disease but that doesn’t excuse any of his actions in my book and now I blame him for alot he’s ruined alot of good family times because he wants to drink and drive. Plus my mom drinks/smokes and maybe it’s my dad’s views or what I’ve learned in school that’s rubbed off on me but I can’t be around her when she’s in that state and that’s also ruined plenty of days some days I wake up and think, “She’s in a good mood this morning be happy because I have no idea how she’ll be three hours from then.” It’s painful and I hate it but I’m also used to it and have become almost numb to when she’s on the phone fighting with my uncle with a glass of who knows in her hand. I’m thankful for my dad because he doesn’t drink alot and never smokes but when he does I feel betrayed almost because I know he’s not like that but it’s fear and it’s awful but it’s always with me. I hope that I don’t change when I’m at college (although I highly doubt it because I’m not the person to change just for status) because I refuse to turn into my mom, uncle, or anyone else in my family with that problem. I needed to vent…sorry.
Don’t be sorry,
In some ways, not all,
I feel the same way you do,
and I know what you’re going through.
I need to vent constantly
or else I’m going to lose my place in recovery,
and I’m too dependent for my own good.
Just stay strong,
and I think it’s good that you don’t want to be like them,
because hey, you need to be you and you are beautiful.(:
Don’t let anyone tell you different.
I care more than you know,
You’re not alone,
-Heather.
P.S.
If you ever just need to vent, I’m always available.
Email me:: jeynann@yahoo.com