so i know its only been about a month since i last SI. but i found a new way to cope.  I have ways to keep myself distracted so I don’t.  and now its been a couple of weeks since i stared doing that and its slowly getting better. i believe i can get over this it just takes time. i hope i never have to SI again but if i do i know i have someone to go to.  if you ever need someone to talk to just email me.  someone here did the same for me and it helped me so much.  thank you 🙂