I have never felt so alone in my entire life. Its suffocating. I am trying so hard not to self injure. Its been about 5 months give or take and I really don’t want to ruin that. I feel like I fail at every thing else but lately I am feeling that ob staining from SI is not a victory. I am so stressed out about so many things right now. My friend tells me it will get better but really will it? No it won’t. These feelings of severe inadequecy, self hatred, guilt, lonliness and all the other things I’m feeling. It will never go away. I deserve to hurt. It will never get better. My circumstances will get better maybe but unless a miracle happens these feelings that are fueling what I do will never go away. No one can help. I’ve tried. Tried so hard. I’ve been working on trying to change my thinking and not self injure and where has it got me. crying hysterically nights on end and feeling like I wanna die. To me staying away from SI’ing is pointless. Self Injury and Eating disorder define me. Plus I’m tired of having my feelings belittled…”oh well you aren’t going through this or you have hope because at least you don’t have this, this and this like I do.” ok seriously yeah her circumstances are different but I’m hopeless in a totally different way. Its so frustrating!! I really wanna self injure tonight and don’t know how much more I can say no. Is it worth it cause dealing with the pain in my head is not working out at all. I’m going absolutely crazy! I need help.