what happens when a subject takes over your mind so much that you cant do anything but think about it?
I’m going to try like im not whinning, but I dont know how to feel. My sister offered to move me back to my home (we moved three years ago) and although I only have a year left of school, I cant imagine myself anywhere for graduation but home. I’m completely torn because this is the first desicion that will alter my life in very evident ways, and I am the only one who can make this choice. No one can tell me what to do (though advice is greatly appreciated). I’m very lost and confused. Just need a little guidance here:
Pros and Cons of moving back:
Pros: friends, family, happiness. The obvious. I would also be eligable for instate tuition for the school that i want to go to. Also, I know a boy shouldnt be the deciding factor, but we have liked eachother since elementary school. I have a gut feeling that we were made for eachother and that we are supposed to be together forever (trying not to sound cliche, but this isnt just any highschool crush). I’m serious, I am head over heals, madly, truley, sincerely in love with him. I want to be with him. The only problem is that we are currently 9 hours away. : (
Cons: I know i have wanted to for so long, but now that i am given the chance to go home, i dont know how to feel about it. I would miss my parents so much. because even though they are partially the reason why i want to move, i love them and it makes me sad to think that they would miss my senior year. I am also best friends wtith my grandma, my mimi, who lives about 10 minutes away from my house. I would miss her so much. and she’s old, so i’m not sure how much longer i’m going to have her. she could single handeldy be the reason i do or do not go. i love her.
I’m very lost here. I try to think about it and balance my pros and cons and im okay until i start thinking about the mimi vs (nameless) boy issue… I break down. I start crying. I cant sleep, i cant eat. Every tiny movement makes me want to clutch my stomach. I cry and I try to SI but then I think about mimi and (nameless) boy and how much I love them and then i dont. but i want to.
i just want to know what to do. What would you do in this situation?
I guess really the only thing you can do it make the best decision. As easy and as obvious as I’m making that sound, I know it’s not. Certain things can really tear a person apart. Have you tried talking to each of the individuals involved, just to see their standpoint of the situation? Moving back home may be just what you need. Maybe you can visit you grandma on weekend, on holidays, inservice days, etc, and live at home with your parents during school.
Hope this helps, even a little bit.
Help is real, Help is real. Recovery is possible.
gdaem@live.com
*Help is real, hope is real. Recovery is possible.
pro/con lists are a great tool. but sometimes, taking a good risk can be beneficial to you, because it can teach you a lot of things. and recurring thoughts of negative situations can never be good…i recommend talking them out with someone (anyone!) or writing them out in a journal. Journaling has been a very good outlet for me and its something that I think most people should try. I swear by it.
Help and hope are certainly real, and your story is important. Nothing is impossible, and you are capable of anything.
Beauty comes from brokenness…I am living proof of this, and you are too.
<3 rescue