what happens when a subject takes over your mind so much that you cant do anything but think about it?
I’m going to try like im not whinning, but I dont know how to feel. My sister offered to move me back to my home (we moved three years ago) and although I only have a year left of school, I cant imagine myself anywhere for graduation but home. I’m completely torn because this is the first desicion that will alter my life in very evident ways, and I am the only one who can make this choice. No one can tell me what to do (though advice is greatly appreciated). I’m very lost and confused. Just need a little guidance here:
Pros and Cons of moving back:
Pros: friends, family, happiness. The obvious. I would also be eligable for instate tuition for the school that i want to go to. Also, I know a boy shouldnt be the deciding factor, but we have liked eachother since elementary school. I have a gut feeling that we were made for eachother and that we are supposed to be together forever (trying not to sound cliche, but this isnt just any highschool crush). I’m serious, I am head over heals, madly, truley, sincerely in love with him. I want to be with him. The only problem is that we are currently 9 hours away. : (
Cons: I know i have wanted to for so long, but now that i am given the chance to go home, i dont know how to feel about it. I would miss my parents so much. because even though they are partially the reason why i want to move, i love them and it makes me sad to think that they would miss my senior year. I am also best friends wtith my grandma, my mimi, who lives about 10 minutes away from my house. I would miss her so much. and she’s old, so i’m not sure how much longer i’m going to have her. she could single handeldy be the reason i do or do not go. i love her.
I’m very lost here. I try to think about it and balance my pros and cons and im okay until i start thinking about the mimi vs (nameless) boy issue… I break down. I start crying. I cant sleep, i cant eat. Every tiny movement makes me want to clutch my stomach. I cry and I try to SI but then I think about mimi and (nameless) boy and how much I love them and then i dont. but i want to.
i just want to know what to do. What would you do in this situation?