Today! I have a full range of emotions going from Depressed-Angry and everything in between. I’ve been thinking and I know I don’t say this often enough, but I do care & trust my therapist & psychiatrist a lot. As of today I’ve manage since 6/17/2010 to get rid of junk food of any kind and take better care of my health as far as my weight goes. I’ve lost 24lbs so far and I’m happy so don’t get me wrong when I say why can I stop SIing yet. Now that I have the food problem in motion why do I still feel the need to abuse myself by hurting myself with the SI.I just haven’t been able to stop that part of me yet and I know it has gotten worst.  I especially on a night like tonight just think about how good it would feel to feel something other than the anger all the time. This weekend when I needed help most of all everyone I knew was having fun, fun, fun and said they were doing things and couldn’t help me so I ask everyone why bother asking for help anymore when everyone just doesn’t care.   I now know after this weekend and asking for help and not getting it I’m worth less than zero. SO WHY SHOULD I BOTHER ASKING ANYMORE FROM ANYONE AND I MEAN ANYONE.