i started SIing a little over a month ago and if i dont SI for maybe more then 3 days i get nightmares about bad things happening to the ones i care about. so now im starting to keep track and SI as least as possible. in my school planner i put a star next to the date that i SIed. recently, i realized a SI alot more and more often. to tell you the truth i  dont want to stop. i like SI. i dont like the nightmare. when i get the nightmare it takes over my entire day. and if i dont want the nightmares then i stay awake and cant sleep.

by the way im a freshmen in hs and i have never told anyone about any of this. im scared that no one will understand the things im going through. the main reason i SI is  because my mom abuses me phsicaly and metally and im scared to death, i dont have the guts to tell anyone. she only hits me when she gets really mad and this happens offten.

i need help