I had my first day of school today and I made me think a lot. Which made me more anxious, emotional, and reckless. All things that don’t lead to good things. I struggle with several different addictions, all you could call self-injurious addictions. I hate my body, I feel so ugly and fat. Which makes me want to do things to hurt my body, punish myself for being who I am and the way I am. I can’t diet or eat the right way to save my life. I just want to be skinny. That’s all I want. I’m willing to do anything to be skinny. I hate myself so much that I can barely look at myself in the mirror anymore, clothes or no clothes. I just disgust myself and all I want to do when I look at myself is injure. I lost track of my injuring. All I want right now is to fall back into all of my addictions. I feel like lying and sneaking around to do it because I know everyone around me is tired of me since I’ve been dealing with this for almost four years, actually yeah, four years now. Wow, I really hate myself.