All I can think about is SI. Part of me wants to go to the counseling services here at school but I am sick and tired of hearing the same thing over and over. Why would I want to sit and listen to someone who is paid to listen to people complain tell me things over and over that I already know. I already write in a journal. No one needs to tell me that what I do is not a safe or effective way to deal with my feelings. I don’t need someone to jump to conclusions and admit me to the hospital. I have things I need to get done. But its getting really frustrating not having anyone to talk to. No one understands. And even if i did think someone here would understand I dont think i could tell anyone and be confident that they wouldnt spread it around. I am just sick and tired of all of this. I am so fed up…..