All I can think about is SI.  Part of me wants to go to the counseling services here at school but I am sick and tired of hearing the same thing over and over.  Why would I want to sit and listen to someone who is paid to listen to people complain tell me things over and over that I already know.  I already write in a journal.  No one needs to tell me that what I do is not a safe or effective way to deal with my feelings.  I don’t need someone to jump to conclusions and admit me to the hospital.  I have things I need to get done.  But its getting really frustrating not having anyone to talk to.  No one understands.  And even if i did think someone here would understand I dont think i could tell anyone and be confident that they wouldnt spread it around.  I am just sick and tired of all of this.  I am so fed up…..