So, I’ve lost several people due to death in my short life, and I’m struggling with s.i. right now and have been for almost four years. I’ve never had a death in my family for more than four years and my family is expecting my great grandparents to die any minute now. I am so so so terrified of that happening, because I don’t know how I’ll handle it. What if I relapse really hard? What if I do too much on accident due to depression from the family death? How will I handle all of it? Who will be there to support me and keep me away from s.i.?