I am sick and tired of everything.  Of being tired, or wanting to SI, of trying to avoid people because I am afraid that they will notice what I do.  Of pretending to be happy.  Of pretending that I actually want to be here at college when in reality this major is the exact opposite of what I want to be majoring in.  I am just not sure how much longer I can deal with this.  I am right by a set of train tracks.  Every time I hear one whistle by it just makes me think of the escape I could have if I wanted it badly enough.