well i gave in to temptation last night. I called this hotline and told them i was thinking about it but they didnt even have anything to say. just quiet and asked me what my plans are for the weekend. i swear there arent enough people out there that know about this topic and know what to do about it. i had to go to the hospital but they to are sick of me. i am there every few months. they just send me back home, no inpatient stay, no meds. my doc called this morning though and put me back on meds; thank god. school starts monday. i have to get this under control. i can’t fail any of my classes and that is what is worrying me. if i can’t handle the stress now how will i be able to go to school? I feel like a failure for SIing. i went 4 months with out any problems and with in 2 weeks everything went downhill. i hope i can pull myself out of this
you can pull yourself out. and school might be the thing to do. this year has been the hardest for me both in school and mentally. It is my last year of university and my boyfriend left for Afghanistan. I was able to use school as a way to focus. I set a goal of raising my cumulative GPA and I focused harder than ever on school. Keeping myself busy has been my saviour. I know that you know that you can do this. You can be SI free, pass all your classes, and once your meds have started to work again in a few weeks, you will feel good doing it too!.
Goodluck and enjoy these years.
The fact that you went over 4 months without SIing is a big deal some people aren’t that strong. Just stay positive. and figure out why you really did it and then tell yourself that there are better ways to deal with this, so that the next time you feel like that you’ll know that there are alternatives. thats what my therapist always says anyways. This can get better if you’re willing. keep strong : )