I don’t know which way is up and which was is down at this point. I thought if I forgave my cousin and came back from going away for the weekend it would help things . Now I don’t even miss him or want to talk to him. I use to be happy to see him or have him back but now I can care less. I thought I should try to text him but no answer. Now when I look back at what happened, I feel like I have really lost him. I thought things would have gone some what back to normal, but I’m afraid not. I can’t even try talking to him now because he doesn’t want to anymore. I just feel so empty knowing he has given up on me. Now he might not be able to cheer me up or make me laugh when I need it. That is going to hurt and it’s just going to make things more difficult. I wish I had him back by my side but I’ afraid I’ve lost him…….for good.