So…. I ((thought)) I needed to go to a SAFE facility for help…. maybe intensive?? BUT…. I ended up using the Bodily Harm book w/ my outpatient counselor who I see 2-3 times monthly. I have eighteen months SAFE and a few days…. I have been struggling lately. I am seriously rethinking whether or not doing the program outpatient w/ a counselor not associated w/ SAFE works or not. My urges started to re-surface approximately six weeks ago, I resumed using the impulse control logs, using alternatives (have been thinking of updating my list) and letting things merely ((be)). Things are intense and I have no clue what to do. When I went through the writing assignments over a year ago I didn’t talk about them w/ my counselor… I feel I took the easy way out. I’m not OKAY at all. The only thing I haven’t done is the action of injuring. The thoughts are there, urges, all the yucky feelings. I have told this to my counselor and she just sort of doesn’t say anything. I don’t know how else to get through that I feel with every fiber of my being that I’m not getting what I need. I’m not even sure anymore what that something I need is, besides maybe weekly sessions and I don’t know about that. I just feel so alone, I am the the point where I am so exhausted all I can say is “uggh!” Forget it.