i’m such a hypocrite. i can tell everyone else that its ok that you slipped up and don’t be hard on yourself but i can’t even tell myself that or give myself a break. today was a hard day. i have some obsessive thoughts bothering me and the urge to self injure is high. i called this hotline but they never seem to help. i have a feeling i’ll be headed to the hospital later. i dont want to do it but a part of me wants to. i dont know what good it will do. i’ll just feel lousy afterwards. but the instant relief is awesome. it just doesnt last long. then you have to deal with scars. i dont know what i’ll do. just blog i guess to distract myself. man i need help