dude i need help i cant even go through this trip without wanting to SI. i want to scream and i want to injure and i want to go away. i ate too much this trip and wanted to injure… but im mad. im mad because i feel fat and ugly and the way to solve it i thought was to SI. but i cant do those things so what can i do .the safe intensive is something i really want to do because i need to learn to deal with everything in my head. ah i need help…

im back from my trip today and home feels like it did. family missed me but the good feelings arent going to last long, i can already see it fadeing away. but tomarrow i get to hang with my friends or people i act freindly with as i should call most of them i guess. thankfully the two people im closest with are going to be there so i wont feel alone and triggered into SIing. i didnt though over the past like 2 weeks , i dont even keep track i should to see my improvement but…yeah know. i have started thinking about college and where im going to live next year after my 18th b day.icant live here and grow up and recover from this problem that i have with SI. i hve to go  and create and discover. i need to grow up still in many ways and i know in my heart and soul i need to do this.

i appreciate all of you for who you are and know that each of you is amazing and beautiful. let yourself shine even when you feel dark. my love to you all