I woke up this morning feeling lousy. All I wanted to do was injure. I tried to sleep it off but I was so depressed and I seriously have no idea why. I was able to sleep it off and didn’t injure but I don’t understand why the urge is so great sometimes and othertimes its not even there. I’ve been ok without it for almost two weeks. But today I just needed it so badly. idk. I want to be ok. I want to be ‘cured’ I just can’t not want it. I think about it I have dreams about it and the scars are all constant reminders of what it was and what I wish it could be still but wish it never was. I know that sounds contridicting but idk. I’m just all over the place.