I knew I was right to keep my guard up with my dad. a simple conversation on the phone about what he should get at the grocery store turned into a two hour argument. i hate how decides to take everything that upsets him about me and lay on me all at once. i wish he would understand how much it overwhelms. i self injured right after i got off the phone with him. i already have scars that i am really self-conscious about. i also have a court date for a dwi charge i got a few months ago. i forgot to get a copy of my driving record and now it’s too late. it’s weird how i feel so old and immature at the same time. some of the things that i’ve gone have severely aged me…yet i can’t remember to pay my water bill. i desperately need to find a balance. i think more importantly i need to get away from my family. i have spoken to my therapist about keeping them in my life but at a distance. i feel like i won’t be able to live an independent life unless move to a different city. i feel like that’s partially running away, but i also feel like it’s my only option. worse enough, my dad is planning on moving in with me soon. i really hope that i find strength in somewhere unexpected and i hope i soon.