8.7.10 11:44

The thoughts bottled up in my mind consume me from the inside. I am trapped in my own weakness and I am drowned by words. There are moments when I can’t even  think anymore. Where I can’t even contemplate on their comments and opinions because too much has been said. I wonder what they say behind my back. I wonder what they truly think of me.
I feel so lonely right now. Which is weird because I have a boyfriend that cares about me & he knows about my injuring & he’s trying to help me. It’s weird because my mom knows & she is helping me. It’s weird because three minutes ago i thought that everything was getting better. But right now, I feel so alone. I feel like crying… and I don’t know why.. Is it just me looking for attention? i don’t feel the need for attention. I don’t know what I want right now. I feel… scared almost. I want to talk to him, but I don’t really know how to explain it to him. Right now, if I could be in one place, with one person, i would be at the beach, with him… with him holding me and us just there. I just want to be embraced by him. I feel like crying so much right now. I feel alone and it scares me. I don’t want to SI & i’m sure I won’t anymore, but Idk… i don’t feel.. right. I don’t get it. I thought that things were going to get better for me after I faced my problems, but, I mean, i guess they kind of did, but like, i thought I would feel better, and I don’t. I feel lousy. I feel like i’m alone, on my own. I hate this.