I told myself that I wanted to post on here everyday. i was stranded at my dad’s house yesterday and wasn’t able to. i used to always SI when I was crying…when I was sad, when everything was awful. Now I feel like I mainly want to/do it when my anxiety is outta control. The simplest things seem to overwhelm now. I feel like I’ve never feel like this before. I’m worried that my SI is becoming commonplace again as my anxiety becomes more persistent. Boy oh boy….I can’t wait for these meds to kick in. This is also the first time in my life that I’ve decided to actually stay on my meds. Which to me, is something I’m really proud of and actually surprised with myself. My father has been in New York for the past month and I had to pick him up at the airport tonight. The last time I picked him up, he was drunk and decided it was the perfect to yell at me for countless pointless things that don’t really matter. After that, I kept my severe distance from him. When I knew that I was finally picking him up tonight, I spent 4 hours making sure that his house and car were in the exact condition he left them. When I picked him up at the airport, he was surprisingly nice. I hate that he hates his life in Texas so much and I’m waiting for him to say that he’s moving up north. I hate that my father is my biggest trigger for my self-injury. The only solution is to get rid of my self-injury, because he’s obviously not going anywhere no matter how far away he moves.