i’ve made a commitment to myself that i will get better. and by getting better means that i need more stability. even though i still drink too much, my eating habits are not good, i isolate myself, yell at those i love, i am mourning the death of my loving and ever so beautiful mother and i self injure, i will still try to find my solace in the small things. so i will try my hardest to post on this blog everyday. this is one of the few places that i’ve actually found people that understand what i am going through. i don’t understand why i am not able to stop self injuring. it’s come to a point that i do not understand my self injury as much as the people around me. so maybe by me posting here everyday, i will be able to make more sense out of my current situation. i also started a blog yesterday and have made the promised to post there everyday also…things will also be more candid there. i totally understand the level of censorship here however. but on my other blog, i will also refrain from any triggering language or imagery as well….that’s probably one of the biggest things that i gained from going through the SAFE program two years ago.
the biggest thing on my mind today is the social stigma associated with self injury. it breaks my heart that so many of us feel like the only place we have to turn is online blogs like this. but in a way, i feel very grateful that i at least have this. SI is so common, but how come the only people that are aware of that are the sufferers? yes, i will be the first to admit it is not the prettiest of inflictions…but neither is meth addiction. i have seen that first hand through a sibling and everyone has the gaul to speak about that. i have a very strong opinion about the subject of social stigma of self injury, but i was curious to hear how others feel in hopes of shedding light on my own emotions. any comments? i really haven’t been able to stop thinking about this for the past few day about this and would love hear others input. thanks.
i would also like to say thank you in advance for any comments any of you have to offer….bless all of your ENORMOUS hearts 🙂