and scared. i just gave in to my urge. it felt great…for the first five seconds as usual. usually thats enuf to get me thru….i had went three whole days without giving in….im so useless. immediately after my dad walked in. i was sitting on my bed having injured. hes like you ok? (it was 1:30 am) im like ya i cant sleep….he leaves my mom comes in you ok?? ya cant sleep…her: well it would help if you turn the light off, take that hat off, and lay down… im like: ya sure okay…dont move tho… she: its 1:30 come on go to sleep im waking you up at 6 tomoro… me: (screaming in my head i dont care!!! leave me alonE!!!) on the outside, okay mom. i love you goodnite.  like seriously i feel horrible. im such a horrible person. i always let everyone down. how did i get adicted to this in the 1 place???? i hate this!!