Why did I start injuring in the first place? Did I wanna see what it was like? Did someone tell me to do it? Was my life really that bad?? It couldn’t have been. I know it did though. I don’t like to admit it, but every year when Christmas is in the air is horrible. I HATE it. Constant fights, threats of divorce, random leaving, throwing stuff, threats, yelling, screaming, tears, stomping… There’s no end. For 3 months. That’s what started this all. Summer’s not all that bad. I might injure once or twice. November and December, it increases. By the time January comes around it’s too much.  It’s my release, my peace. A stupid one at that. I’ve been injuring for about 20 months now… Or close to 2 years. It’s the biggest mistake I’ve ever made but it’s something I feel like I can’t live without. I’ve tried so many times to quit. But the urges are just to dang strong! I know I can quit. I know I have the strength, determination, will-power. You name it. I can do it. I just can’t. I don’t know what triggers it. It’s so random I hate. I’m just mumbling here and you probably aren’t interested in reading this confused nonsense but my mess of thoughts has to go somewhere. I prefer this rather than injuring. I just want to stop. I feel like an innocent girl being taken down. I can’t wait to let this go…