this stinks. bc of my issues i have to screw up another family. i have been kicked out of my house and forced to switch schools bc of the fact that i stood up for what i believe and it had to do with my parents precious son. my grandparents couldnt financieally take in a teenager in high school, so i then had to move in with my best friend and her family, so now im stepping in on their family that was fine before, and causing them to deal with all my issues, the si-ing, my family stuff, and now college stuff coming up.  i hate the fact that they have to put up with so much bc of me. i feel horrible every time they have to do anything out of their way for me. and they do it so willingly and that hurts so bad! sometimes i think itwould be easier to deal with if they had just a few hard feelings toward me…i just hate it. it hurts so bad and its so hard to fight the urge to si…but then i feel horrible when i give in bc they care so much…its like a catch 21 situation…i hate it. i hate myself, and the fact that i know its not good to hate urself makes me hate myself even more…its so confusing i know but whatever.

i know this is probably confusing to everyone else but i just got on and typed what came to mind, so im going to leave it bc thats what my mind is like. so if you read it thanks and im sry for being confusing.