Sometime I really wish I could take some things back – decisions, words, life choices. I thought I was making a decision to better my life, move forward and become more succesful. In reality, I think this was a huge mistake. Instead of all those things, I am losing confidence, self-esteem, and courage. I hate myself and I don’t know how to take this decision back and just pretend it didn’t happen. I am miserable, and alone and I don’t know what to do. I wish some path would just light up for me. I want someone to direct me to the right thing to do.
I am thinking of going back to the state I moved from. At least I had some friends and family there. But then I don’t want to just quit and give up. I feel there is some reason I came here to this new place, but I don’t know why. And I don’t know how long I can stick around trying to figure it out. Everyday I come home from work in tears. I can’t take many more days of it. It is the weekend and I can’t even enjoy the time off from work because I dread going back to a whole week of being at a job where I absolutely don’t fit in.
I don’t know what to do, and I am praying my heart out for some guidance and direction.