why do i feel so alone right now. im talking to a friend, how can i possibly be lonely. i dont want to be here. i dont feel like i belong here and i dont. i know i am not supposed to be here wasteing away staying still and not knowing who i am. in a way i know who i am. i am someone who loves her friends and brother more then anything on this earth. they are more family to me then anyone else can ever be because they choose to love me not obligted to. they mean the world to me and i love being able to know them and just be with them if thats all i can do. i feel distant and disconnected with everybody and everything. maybe like dust or something always unsettled not sticking.the SIing makes me feel real and connected gives me something i can control and have for my own. but always i find that soon even that slips away. everything is just fadeing away. everything i once knew and everything i depended on is fadeing slowely in front of me and i feel like the only one who can see it happening. and there again i feel alone watching the pages turn and the book close.