I wish I knew why I felt like this. I feel like trash. I feel like dirt. I feel worthless, helpless, hopeless. I don’t even know where to begin or why these feelings have started. I’ve done nothing out of the ordinary. My friends are great. My family has its problems but whose doesn’t? I’ve started to si again. But nothing has happened to make me do this! Nothing tramatic. Nothing. But I still inure. I woke up this morning wanting to injure right away. I was driving and I wanted to si. I came to work and I wanted to si. I’m sitting her wanting to si. But WHY!?!?! I don’t understand why I want to. I’m so frustrated. I was panicking this morning as I was driving but there was nothing for me to panic about. Am I officially going crazy? Am I even worth all this stress I give myself? I’ve never thought of suicide and it scares me that I can think so calmly of it lately. I shouldn’t even think this way but the thoughts just swarm in and I can’t control it. I si to maken the thoughts go away.
I don’t even feel myself si anymore. That scares me more than anything.
I’m sorry I’m all over the place but I can’t talk to anyone else like this.